Yellow Card!

After a very very long hiatus from publishing my random thoughts and philosophies, I finally come to a conclusion that I really need to write whenever I feel like I need to blurt something out. Actually, I don't fully stop writing, I've been drafting about all the suggestions that are given by some of my peeps. Well, maybe when I find a really good timing, I could talk about those amazing nuts. I mean those nuts that are hard to crack. 

So, today, on the 17th of July with an academic writing that has been darting its due date right into my brain, wondering why haven't I begin to write and tick off the assignment... I choose to write this non-academic writing instead. Well, technically everything that I wrote here barely has anything to do with academics but I believe it's a cure for my mental :)

Cut the intro and what's about the entry's title? 

...

Yellow card?

As we all know, when we are in a game like a football game, the referee will pull a yellow card out of his pocket as a warning to caution the player's offensive behaviour. Whether it's for foul play, foul action, or foul language used in the game. Simply put, a yellow card is a synonym for a meaning that implies an early warning. So, I was thinking about this yesterday...

"How about we try to pull yellow cards in our life too?"

Yellow card for not only others but for us, ourselves. How does that sound?

Let me put this in a clearer context. I'll begin with a yellow card for others.

At times, we are hurt by some people. Whether our friends, strangers, family members, teachers, colleagues, and many others. Sometimes people hurt us without knowing that they are hurting us. Like they forgot that they need to turn off the boiler once it screams the piercing sound. So, when we are hurting, we begin to be numb in the middle of choosing them or us. Whether to stay away or to forgive and remain there. Like, what if the person that hurt us is our good friend? What if they are our parents or siblings? Maybe they are our colleagues that we need to work on a project together for a year? Or, maybe they are just a mere stranger that we will not meet ever again.

If they are strangers, then it would be easy for us to just brush it off or stand up for ourselves. We don’t need to think hard if we want to send them some signs that we are pissed off. To a degree, we even blow our top off and yell at them if they did something wrong to us like throwing shades on us in public when they don’t even know us.

But what if they are all those people that are listed before strangers? I believe it is surely hard for us to call out our parents right away. Or, shout to our friends, “What is your problem!” before we think at least for once. We will think that no matter how we are hurt by them, the thoughts of their feelings might get hurt when we fight back will cross our minds.

So, this is when we need a yellow card. When we don’t know how to decide, but one thing that we all know for sure is that we are hurting. For example, we are hurt by our friends because they said something that cut our hearts. We can pull out the yellow card to them,

“Beep! Your words are too much, mate. This is a yellow card for you. Once again, and it will be red.”

Or maybe for our parents when they seem to not understand our feelings when we said that we are tired,

“Beep! Mom and dad, this is a yellow card for you guys. I’ll be in my room for a good rest. We’ll talk again later.”

Some might say, “Nahhh, this not going to work. They will surely fire us back, telling us that we are spitting nonsense.”

Nope. For me, it will work. Imagine and try to say that out of a sudden. People will surely be like, what? But will they stop talking at that moment? Yes. Will they realize that we hate or are uninterested in whatever they are saying? Yes. Do we avoid a worse fight? Yes. At least, they will know how we feel. Plus, in some games, if the player was given a yellow card, they are given a penalty to stay out of the field for a moment. Somehow this is related with the concept I'm talking about. When we pulled out the yellow card for others, it's like we are telling them that they are out of the conversation and we want to take a break from talking to them or doing anything with them at that time. 

Keep it cool and classy, but strictly stating how annoyed we are at that very moment. I think we all need to have a little pause in between the conversations. Before we all lose our cool and you know, begin to spit out all our wrath which later we might get angry at ourselves because we are regretting it. Now, I’m teaching myself to remain composed even when I am madly annoyed with someone. My good friends especially know how crazy the look in my eyes when I was mad at someone. And, I would like to change that. Why? Because I will regret and reflect on why did I get mad at that person. Why did I lose my cool earlier? Why did I do that? Why did I say that? I will think about those things and I will hate myself. That’s unhealthy. Like gulping litres of cooking oil after an exhausting run. I ran because I’m angry but then I drank the oil. Come on, that’s so silly.

Hence, to at least make sure we keep our cool when we are boiling with anger and annoyance, we can try to pull out the yellow cards. Yellow card when someone looked down on us, yellow card when someone said something bad to us, yellow card when people thought their jokes are funny which actually it’s a pure blade that cuts, and et cetera. Of course, we can be mad if we want. But I personally think that we might find it difficult to reconcile once we calmed down. The yellow cards that I’m suggesting right now are like a temporary line that we draw between others and us in those ugly moments. It’s not like we are being overly sensitive or making jokes over our feelings. It's just we are trying to keep calm for our good sake. I will begin to pull some yellow cards too from now on. To not let myself regret when I do some self-reflections at the end of the day.

 ...

Next! Yellow card for us. Or we can change the pronoun into me?

How does that mean? Yellow card for ourselves or me is like when we are aware of the fact that we are actually doing things that hurt us. Oh, let’s just be frank in this. We do hurt ourselves, aren’t we? We blame ourselves for something that is not even our fault at first, we get mad at ourselves for being stupid, we blame ourselves for not getting good grades, we overthink, we think that we are not good enough, and the list goes on. At one point, I could just conclude that the one that hurts me the most is myself. Oh, mate. Yellow cards for those craps!

So, when our thoughts begin to drift sooo far away and slowly losing their radar, we pull the yellow card.

“BEEP! Yellow card for me!”

I tried this yesterday when I was washing my hands and I was thinking about those ugly thoughts like what if and what if. Then, I shook my head.

“Beep! Yellow card for you, Nadia! Why would you think of that?”

So, I stopped myself from thinking those thoughts right away. Well, again. Some might say,

“Nahh, that’s only applicable to you, ignorant! You made the rules of course you obey it.”

Nope. Hear me out because I’m being honest now. This person that is writing all these now named Nadia who was born on 19^th November is a real stubborn one. Like, I’ve been telling people this and that yet I’m the one who throws myself in the pit. Silly. I’ve been telling people to take it slow yet I’m the one who keeps rushing myself like there’s no second chance for a mistake. Goshhh, talking about making a mistake? Even a single typo freaks me out. I could not bear seeing myself making a mistake, failing a goal that I have set. I’m toxic for myself. And that’s surely unhealthy.

That’s why I love to write. Because when I read everything that I have written, I would reflect on myself. “See, you wrote that. Come on, Nadia. You surely know how to handle this.”

I’m hoping that pulling the yellow cards for myself could simply remind me that I deserve a pause. A pause for me to take things slow. A pause for me from not getting mad at myself over a petty mistake. A pause for me to stop hurting myself. A pause for me to not shove all the blames into my mouth.

And, I’m hoping the same for you guys too. Let’s stop hurting ourselves with these negative thoughts that to an extent we are even losing ourselves. Let’s be good to ourselves because by then we could be good to others. Let’s embrace ourselves so that we could embrace others.

Easy? No. I never mention that everything would be easy. If Albus Dumbledore said that it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up against our enemies but standing up to our friends are just as much… I would add that standing up against ourselves requires even bigger courage. If we are a good friend to others, how about we try to be a good friend for ourselves too. Don’t only feed others with good foods, we deserve some Great Chicken Burgers too. (Now, I crave a GCB.)

 ...

Whooppss, reaching 1800 words now. I could write almost 2 academic writings with these much. Lol.

Anyway, I wish all of us could find the subtle happiness within ourselves and how amazing it would be if we could embrace ourselves. So, don’t be afraid to pull out the yellow cards!

Know when we should put a pause and give ourselves a moment to think wisely and be cool. I feel glad that I could finish this one. Sorry not sorry for the long write up! May all your days be sparkled with shiny glitters!

 

With love, ❤